Monday, November 19, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Nodes
Written at 3:45 AM - cannot go back to sleep.
Lots of little nodes that made up overall flow of life - added texture.
Some nodes involved life and death...
When I cut my foot and would have died if Lutz brother had not seen me and taken me to hospital.
When I flipped Corvair and would have died if I had bought Jag the week before.
When Bill Moore and I nearly got hit by approaching car in Miami.
There have been others.
A few nodes determined the course of life...
Except for mother dying all were followed (or preceded) by acts of volition on my part...
When mother died
When I saw Brenda in rear-view mirror.
When I dropped out of State.
When Brenda's father died.
When Frank took me to Reserve meeting.
When Jim Williams had patent application written for worthless invention.
When Charleen Whisnant published The Mill.
When I wore shirt and tie to work at Celanese.
When Yancie was born.
When Brenda died.
Except for Brenda's dying all these nodes took place before I was 40 and most before I was 25. Did fate become less active or did I become more rigid? Some affected my life as it was; some as my life was not (or all were both).
A few major nodes with potential that did not go anywhere
When Claud mentioned that he had been approached by book publishers and I said I would write them. The books were published but nothing life changing resulted.
When Julia tossed her hair (and my father said no to moving in).
When I touched Claudia - too ludicrous
Lots of little nodes that made up overall flow of life - added texture.
Some nodes involved life and death...
When I cut my foot and would have died if Lutz brother had not seen me and taken me to hospital.
When I flipped Corvair and would have died if I had bought Jag the week before.
When Bill Moore and I nearly got hit by approaching car in Miami.
There have been others.
A few nodes determined the course of life...
Except for mother dying all were followed (or preceded) by acts of volition on my part...
When mother died
When I saw Brenda in rear-view mirror.
When I dropped out of State.
When Brenda's father died.
When Frank took me to Reserve meeting.
When Jim Williams had patent application written for worthless invention.
When Charleen Whisnant published The Mill.
When I wore shirt and tie to work at Celanese.
When Yancie was born.
When Brenda died.
Except for Brenda's dying all these nodes took place before I was 40 and most before I was 25. Did fate become less active or did I become more rigid? Some affected my life as it was; some as my life was not (or all were both).
A few major nodes with potential that did not go anywhere
When Claud mentioned that he had been approached by book publishers and I said I would write them. The books were published but nothing life changing resulted.
When Julia tossed her hair (and my father said no to moving in).
When I touched Claudia - too ludicrous
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Friday, July 2 , 1976
Suppose I ought to write something for the big centennial fourth especially for Yancey(ie) if he/she survives and isn't an idiot. (glad you turned out well)
We were supposed to picnic today with the Hamricks, Frank and Margaret. It wasn't going to be anything much; we planned to take the usual southern picnic materials to our building lot on the lake. However the rains have come and I called the picnic off. ''
We haven't done anything of note. I finished paneling and flooring my old 66 VW bus... a job I started yesterday. Brenda and I have slept a lot.
I ran a mile and quarter this morning in a light drizzle, but I haven't done much since then.
We were supposed to picnic today with the Hamricks, Frank and Margaret. It wasn't going to be anything much; we planned to take the usual southern picnic materials to our building lot on the lake. However the rains have come and I called the picnic off. ''
We haven't done anything of note. I finished paneling and flooring my old 66 VW bus... a job I started yesterday. Brenda and I have slept a lot.
I ran a mile and quarter this morning in a light drizzle, but I haven't done much since then.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
December 8, 1976
From 1976 desk journal
Tuesday
Some time running around for Old Man - rest of day on book. Finished roughing chapts 14, 15, 16, 17 and sent them to Claud.
Isabel went Club meeting and Brenda, Yancie and I went to Pigs for dinner. While we were there the Rachels came in with entire brood. Yancie and John Milton lay side by side and in a moment of harmony and understanding - shit together.
I also called Tom (Manny) Wolpert yesterday at Cardinal.
December 13. 1976
From 1976 desk journal
Monday
Pitiful nail driving performance in morning trying to help John "box" house #39.
Yancie's first day in nursery and Brenda's first day back at work. Yancie seemed all right at her return home - except for being hungry and a bit cranky. But Brenda was in foul shape... guilt, psychosomatics, and pain from unused muscles. She finally had to take a pain pill. She went to bed at about 9:00 PM and slept until alarm went off at 5:10 AM/.
December 3, 1976
From 1976 desk journal
Friday
Yancie bitched last night keeping us up until 3:00 AM. So I was going to sleep late this morning. However Old Man called at 6:45, asking me to lay off house, which I did... with Joey. It was most successful lay-off yet, only taking 2 hrs. (2012 note: "laying off" was staking off precisely where foundation would go. Fairly abstract work. For some reason most carpenters could not do this.)
Received review "B" from Little Brown. Looked good.
Had an attack of nerves tonight at supper - re: Isabel. Will have to get out of here.
December 1, 1976
From 1976 desk journal
Wednesday
Had to work all day for Old Man. Joey went "fishing" and Raymond couldn't lay particle board by himself. Very tired when I got home.
Yancie, Brenda and I visited parents. Old Man seemed preoccupied , probably a sign of money problems. I was also less than perfect company.
Over the past week Yancie has become a cheery little person (most of time).
Stopped by Pigs. Milton was manic. Apparently he is in dire financial straits.
Also learned today that Raymond Allen is a painter. Life is certainly strange.
November 15, 1976
From 1976 desk journal
Monday
Morning running for Old Man. Afternoon fairly successful writing session. Only a little left to finish rough of starter chapter.
Brenda brought Yancie by while she, her mother and Linnie Byers went out. (2012 note: Linnie was nice 60ish woman, tall and horse faced, wealthy. Brenda's father said that Linnie liked sex the way a pig likes slop.) Yancie is a good writing companion, only occasionally squawking.
November 4, 1976
From 1976 desk journal
(2012 note: This was fairly typical routine, working for Old Man in morning, writing textbook in afternoon. I think I was beginning to supervise some of house building tasks.)
Thursday
Dug Webber footing today, and had it inspected. It passed. Was probably proud.
Continued on Starter Motor chapter. It seems to be going fairly well. Although it is very very difficult. I have to find ways to make more money.
Pigged tonight while Brenda and Yancie slept. Saw John Milton. He behaves somewhat like Yancie, although he is bigger.
Changed Yancie's shitty diaper all by myself.
(2012 note: This was fairly typical routine, working for Old Man in morning, writing textbook in afternoon. I think I was beginning to supervise some of house building tasks.)
Thursday
Dug Webber footing today, and had it inspected. It passed. Was probably proud.
Continued on Starter Motor chapter. It seems to be going fairly well. Although it is very very difficult. I have to find ways to make more money.
Pigged tonight while Brenda and Yancie slept. Saw John Milton. He behaves somewhat like Yancie, although he is bigger.
Changed Yancie's shitty diaper all by myself.
November 1, 1976
From 1976 desk journal
(2012 note: Little Brown was first publisher we approached - or who approached Claud and me - about writing car books. Ultimate publisher was Reston Publishing who got bought out by Prentice Hall - who as I recall got bought out by Simon and Schuster.)
Met Chris Hunter of Little Brown in Charlotte. I picked him up at Red Carpet and walked up to Cardinal. Cardinal was very pitiful. Cold dirty, not even any coffee. I had to buy ours.
I guess the meeting went OK. Claud came over then we did CPCC tour. Chris didn't have any money. Said it would be forthcoming when reviews come in. First review is OK.
Yancie had her first check-up today. She weighs 6 1/2 pounds - is OK.
Flat on van as I drove back along I-85
(2012 note: Little Brown was first publisher we approached - or who approached Claud and me - about writing car books. Ultimate publisher was Reston Publishing who got bought out by Prentice Hall - who as I recall got bought out by Simon and Schuster.)
Met Chris Hunter of Little Brown in Charlotte. I picked him up at Red Carpet and walked up to Cardinal. Cardinal was very pitiful. Cold dirty, not even any coffee. I had to buy ours.
I guess the meeting went OK. Claud came over then we did CPCC tour. Chris didn't have any money. Said it would be forthcoming when reviews come in. First review is OK.
Yancie had her first check-up today. She weighs 6 1/2 pounds - is OK.
Flat on van as I drove back along I-85
October 29 - 30 - 31, 1976
From 1976 desk journal.
Friday, October 29 - (first writing since Yancie's birth Oct 9th)
A lot to write but difficult to casually note. Yancie is doing well, eating 22-23 ounces on some days. Brenda is OK. At home. Isabel is worse. Don't know if Brenda will ever have the courage to make the required move. I may have to do it on my own.
I have been smoking more these past weeks. I don't exercise any (except for work). I don't write. It remains to be seen whether I will establish any of my former routines. Of course much of this routine is not worth resuming anyway.
Saturday, October 30
I can't casually note a routine. Saturday anymore because I haven't discovered yet what my routine will be. I did get coffee with Frank this morning. And Brenda and I took Yancie to Eastridge Mall in the van. Yancie is a very peaceful traveler, sleeping all the time.
Sunday, October 31
A fairly quiet day, except for fuses blowing in water heater which I fixed. I wrote some reminiscences for Mickey. It was the first writing I have done in weeks - including these notes. I'll leave it to Brenda to keep Yancie notes. But she is changing perhaps in ways we don't see because we are too close.
October 9, 1976
From 1976 desk journal.
Friday, October 8 - Saturday, October 9 (written at hospital)
It was an ordinary day... work for both Brenda and I, the grocery store for her, the Pigs for both of us until eleven, then Johnny Carson ... until about 3:00 AM Saturday morning. At that time Brenda woke me up complaining of severe pains. We discussed and argued for about a half hour until her mother and I convinced her that it could be labor (20 days early). I drove the Volvo in the front yard up to the porch to keep her out of the downpour and we went to the hospital. (2012 note - she thought that was foolish) It was labor and at 4:02 Saturday morning YANCIE WEATHERS was born. She weighed 5 lbs and 4 ozs and after some initial wrinkling she became very pretty with wisps of red hair. Brenda did all right shortly after birth but later the nurses and Doctor Benjamin had trouble expelling all the blood clots. They do this by pressing down hard on the abdomen. Brenda suffered a great deal and about 12:00 or so Sunday morning he did a modified DNC. But by that time the bleeding had stopped. At this moment I think it will be OK. I left the hospital about 1:30 after Brenda had gone off to sleep. (2012 note - we went home Sunday morning in the orange industrial van I bought from Stinker Rodgers. She and Yancie lay on old sofa in back. Yancie lay in a wicker dog basket. It was some days before Brenda could sit again.)
There is a lot more to tell - the other father in the waiting room - Brenda's long suffering - my numb anxiousness - and Yancie herself - the object of all of this. I'll write about it later. (2012 note - I didn't write again until October 30.)
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Recent Pictures
The pictures in last couple of posts show a person that I didn't really know. Especially the beautiful woman in the portrait pictures. She is a phantom - a dream. Real but not real. Not mine. Below are recent pictures of my wife.
(Shot on our 47th anniversary. Our last trip. We ate at the little place beside the river in Chimney Rock, sitting on the back porch looking out on the boulders in the nearly dry stream bed. We had been here several times before with various family members. Brenda did OK on this trip although the rough-riding Subaru WRX did hurt her back. Note: She carried her portable oxygen tank - along with a lot of other stuff in the big black bag that I got for her at Sharron Luggage a couple of years previous. Finding the right bag was always an issue. I now use the big black bag as my "man" bag - carrying it when I walk to the coffee shop in Mt. Holly and even hiking on Crowder's Mountain.)
(Probably 2007. In Brenda's "office" - one end of Yancie's old bedroom. Brenda liked Solitaire, emails, and doing Google searches. We always got into fights when things screwed up and I tried to explain what was happening or tell her what to do. After she died, I pulled up the old carpet (which she had always wanted me to do), cleared out her stuff and turned this into my bedroom.
(Approx September, 2009 - about three months before she died. She wanted me to take this picture so she could show it to someone the next time she got a haircut, to tell them how to do it. She wasn't entirely happy with this look but figured it was better than some of the other haircuts - she hated the little "twigs" of hair that stuck out from behind her neck and would sometimes get me cut them off. I think she got this last haircut at the Great Clips in Belmont. Afterward we went to the little coffee shop in Belmont. This might have been our last non-doctor related outing.)
Aside - I recently told an older but still pretty woman that someone said she was pretty and she immediately responded in that emphatic way women sometimes have when men fail to see self-evident truths, "That's not important. That changes."
(Shot on our 47th anniversary. Our last trip. We ate at the little place beside the river in Chimney Rock, sitting on the back porch looking out on the boulders in the nearly dry stream bed. We had been here several times before with various family members. Brenda did OK on this trip although the rough-riding Subaru WRX did hurt her back. Note: She carried her portable oxygen tank - along with a lot of other stuff in the big black bag that I got for her at Sharron Luggage a couple of years previous. Finding the right bag was always an issue. I now use the big black bag as my "man" bag - carrying it when I walk to the coffee shop in Mt. Holly and even hiking on Crowder's Mountain.)
(Probably 2007. In Brenda's "office" - one end of Yancie's old bedroom. Brenda liked Solitaire, emails, and doing Google searches. We always got into fights when things screwed up and I tried to explain what was happening or tell her what to do. After she died, I pulled up the old carpet (which she had always wanted me to do), cleared out her stuff and turned this into my bedroom.
(Approx September, 2009 - about three months before she died. She wanted me to take this picture so she could show it to someone the next time she got a haircut, to tell them how to do it. She wasn't entirely happy with this look but figured it was better than some of the other haircuts - she hated the little "twigs" of hair that stuck out from behind her neck and would sometimes get me cut them off. I think she got this last haircut at the Great Clips in Belmont. Afterward we went to the little coffee shop in Belmont. This might have been our last non-doctor related outing.)
Aside - I recently told an older but still pretty woman that someone said she was pretty and she immediately responded in that emphatic way women sometimes have when men fail to see self-evident truths, "That's not important. That changes."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
